I am out.. AGAIN

Booked out - 1040 -
Marched out and reached the jetty - 1110 -
Home - 1300 -
Booking in - 1930

Had a tedious and heavy week on my upper body this week. Strength training and more strength trainings. I feel the ache every where else beside my arms. Funny isn't it. Lol, either they are not growing physically or 'internally', i just felt numb at my arms. Averagely did 100 over pushups in installments daily at least. I hope after i rest well this weekend and I am good to go~!

Read some peeps' blog. Hmm, if i ought to use a single word to describe myself, i will use blue i guess. People who knows me well, yes i am blue lol. I hate reading blogs and going through friendsters. That makes me less kpo than the rest :P reading blogs might just disrupt my mood sometimes, really. I read through some and got the effect immediately. Made me realize how important memories, feel and appreciations are. These are the vital feelings that one in love should show to your the other half.

If theres love, every single little tiny gestures means everything. If theres ain't love, every loved gestures do not mean anything more anymore. The feelings when u recalled are so much different so as to be compared to the feelings u felt at the particular point of time and place.

I recalled what i had done in the past. Yes, i am appreciated but how come i still felt that its never enough? Its somehow always that little bit more sweet, that little bit more thankful, that little bit more appreciative that someone else can/able to give or receive but that particular person will never be me.

Lol, if you cant understand what i said after reading through everything, don't bother to read again. I don't know what i am saying either lol :P I felt that humans will tend to be more forgetful. If its new, u will tend to forget the old and move on.

Anyway, had some lonely nights this week in bunk. I was waiting smses with my mp3 on, it was a Tuesday. The next thing i know my mp3 went flat and my hp was never ringing. Xiao Xia Mei said that if u ever wanna make known how u felt towards her or him, u have to voice it out. How am i going to do that. lol, I may not fully understand myself but i will never be the one who's fooling around when it comes to relationships. I don't tend to have a habit of 'messing' around with anyone whom i don't have the intention of keeping up my effort. I am only capable of putting in more effort than cutting it down if I ever felt that there's chance to do so.

也许是心灵上的空虚，让我分不出是我自己的一相情愿，单方面的爱，还是你的巨决..

Lol, another boring post, just about my inner thoughts which i try to put into words with my lousy English.

-Cheers-